260 Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids: Clean, Silly & Easy to Tell

By Bilal Irshadi • Updated July 17, 2026 • 22 min read

These 260 knock-knock jokes for kids and adults use clean language, quick exchanges, and punchlines that are easy to remember and deliver. The collection stays family-safe and simple to browse. Start with the Editor’s Picks for a fast choice, or jump directly to classics, clever wordplay, food, animals, names, school, celebrations, or interactive performance jokes.

Table of Contents

Editor’s Picks: Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids

Use Case	Setup and Punchline	Best For
Easiest to remember	Tank — “You’re welcome!”	Young children
Best quick classic	Hatch — “Bless you!”	Fast delivery
Cleverest wordplay	Error 404 — “Visitor not found.”	Teens and adults
Best food joke	Cheese — “Cheese Louise, who ate all the crackers?”	Lunch and dinner
Best animal joke	Duck — “Duck! That pillow is flying back.”	Active kids
Best name joke	Gene — “Gene Pool—the swim coach.”	Groups and parties
Best classroom choice	Book — “Book it—the librarian heard us.”	Students and teachers
Best birthday choice	Icing — “I sing ‘Happy Birthday’—badly.”	Birthday tables
Best holiday choice	Pumpkin — “The pie called—it wants its face back.”	Fall gatherings
Strongest group joke	Conductor — “Everyone shout ‘Train!’ Great—we’re on track!”	Audience participation

Short and Easy Favorites

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bell.
Bell who?
Bell is broken, so I knocked.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe help me carry this?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Leaf.
Leaf who?
Leaf the light on for me.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry—it’s only me.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
Alpaca lunch if you bring the drinks.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive right across the street.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Bless you!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
I scream when the lights go out!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Eye.
Eye who?
Eye can see you through the peephole.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A tiny bell.
A tiny bell who?
Ding! I’m the doorbell’s little brother.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peas.
Peas who?
Please hold the door.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to ask me inside?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Yay—you answered!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No, a cow says moo!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce come inside.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W-H-O.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Never mind—it’s pointless.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wooden shoe.
Wooden shoe who?
Wooden shoe like to know?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Two.
Two who?
Too late—I already knocked three times.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wire.
Wire who?
Why are you whispering? I can hear you.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hair.
Hair who?
Here I am!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Banana split, so I came alone.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
What are you waiting for?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use hiding—I saw you wave.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ding.
Ding who?
Dong! We make a great team.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Waiter.
Waiter who?
Wait a minute—I forgot the punchline.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Uno.
Uno who?
You know who.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Needle.
Needle who?
Need a little room to squeeze past.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yellow.
Yellow who?
Yell “hello” a little louder.

Classic and Corny Favorites

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nobel.
Nobel who?
Nobel—that’s why I knocked.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks—I prefer peanuts.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
Are you an owl?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Avenue.
Avenue who?
Avenue heard this one before?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell—it’s broken.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A herd.
A herd who?
A herd you were home.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Anybody going to answer?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Police.
Police who?
Police open the door.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen anyone live here?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Car go beep-beep!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mustache.
Mustache who?
Mustache you a question.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Adore.
Adore who?
A door is between us.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Beets.
Beets who?
Beets me!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Viper.
Viper who?
Viper nose—it’s running.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wood.
Wood who?
Wood you like to hear another?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Watt.
Watt who?
Watt are you waiting for?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
Butter answer before I leave.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Razor.
Razor who?
Razor hand if you can hear me.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Amish.
Amish who?
Really? You don’t look like a shoe.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good place for lunch?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita borrow your umbrella.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio not, here I come!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Calendar.
Calendar who?
May I come in, or should I try June?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Vacuum.
Vacuum who?
Quick—your welcome mat is disappearing up the hose!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy who?
I see you hiding behind the curtains.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
CD.
CD who?
See the delivery truck outside?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Blanket.
Blanket who?
Wrong layer—I’m the sheet underneath.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Knock-knock.
Knock-knock who?
Now you’re stealing my lines.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Glue.
Glue who?
Not glue—tape. I knew you’d get stuck.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A broken record.
A broken record who?
Never mind—I already told this one.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Clock.
Clock who?
It’s about time you answered.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The spare key.
The spare key who?
The one that’s still locked inside.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Doormat.
Doormat who?
You thought I was the visitor? Look down.

Clever Wordplay for Teens and Adults

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Opportunity.
Opportunity who?
You missed me earlier, so I came back.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Déjà.
Déjà who?
I knew you would ask that.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Memory.
Memory who?
Exactly—I forgot your name too.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Autocorrect.
Autocorrect who?
Duck—I meant “door.” See the problem?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cache.
Cache who?
You knew me yesterday—check your cache.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wi-Fi.
Wi-Fi who?
That network doesn’t exist. Try “Who’s There?”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Password.
Password who?
Incorrect. Please try again.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
“404.”
404 who?
Visitor not found.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I am.
I am who?
That is a surprisingly deep question.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Guess.
Guess who?
Exactly!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Echo.
Echo who?
Echo who?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The past.
The past who?
The past keeps coming back.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
One two.
One two who?
Three. Thanks for finishing the count.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Quotation mark.
Quotation mark who?
You opened the quotation; close it after “who.”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A typo.
A typo who?
Sorry—I have the wrong address.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A question.
A question who?
That was the question.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Notification.
Notification who?
Snoozed. Ask me again in nine minutes.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Autofill.
Autofill who?
Your question completed itself.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
GPS.
GPS who?
Recalculating—I knocked one house too soon.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Login.
Login who?
Session expired—knock again.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
Technically, “to whom.”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Reply all.
Reply all who?
Now everyone knows you asked.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Logic.
Logic who?
If no one’s home, who keeps asking questions?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Spoiler.
Spoiler who?
I can’t reveal that until the door opens.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A period.
A period who?
That ends this sentence.

Food Favorites

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Menu.
Menu who?
Menu for two? Dessert first.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Taco.
Taco who?
Talk about bad timing—the food truck just sold out.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nacho.
Nacho who?
Nacho groceries—I brought my own.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Omelet.
Omelet who?
Omelet you choose dessert.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pizza delivery.
Pizza delivery who?
The one with eight slices—and only seven left.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup with me after lunch.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Muffin.
Muffin who?
Muffin can stop me from having dessert.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cheese.
Cheese who?
Cheese Louise, who ate all the crackers?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cookie.
Cookie who?
Could he have taken the last one? Follow the crumbs.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeydew.
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you have any snacks?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pudding.
Pudding who?
Put it in the fridge before it melts.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Egg timer.
Egg timer who?
BEEP! Time’s up—you asked too slowly.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pear.
Pear who?
Pair? I brought only one sandwich.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peach.
Peach who?
Peace and quiet—until the blender starts.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Grape.
Grape who?
Grape job setting the table.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Roll.
Roll who?
Roll with it—the toast burned.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Do not touch the last cookie.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Berry.
Berry who?
Berry pleased to meet you.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Toast.
Toast who?
You’re toast if you ate the last piece.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Soda.
Soda who?
So, do you want ice in your drink?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Avocado.
Avocado who?
Duck—the pit is rolling your way!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Flour.
Flour who?
Flower? No, this bag goes in the pantry.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Rice.
Rice who?
Rice and shine—breakfast is ready.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Waffle.
Waffle who?
I can’t decide whether to answer.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Soup.
Soup who?
Super hungry—may I come in?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Thyme.
Thyme who?
Thyme to check the oven.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lemon.
Lemon who?
Let him in—he brought lemonade.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Jam.
Jam who?
Jam-packed lunchbox coming through.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dough.
Dough who?
Do you know who ate the bagels?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Curry.
Curry who?
Carry the plates? Sure—but I’m keeping the curry.

Animal Wordplay

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Goat.
Goat who?
Baaaa-d guess—I’m a sheep.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lion.
Lion who?
I’m not lying—the zoo bus left without me.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Woodpecker.
Woodpecker who?
If I were the woodpecker, you’d hear three faster knocks.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Toucan.
Toucan who?
Toucan play this game.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Whale.
Whale who?
Whale you finally answered!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cowbell.
Cowbell who?
Moo-ve over—the band needs more cowbell.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Giraffe.
Giraffe who?
The one whose “who” took three seconds to reach you.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hamster.
Hamster who?
Your hamster—he traded his wheel for a getaway car.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ewe.
Ewe who?
No, “you who?” I’m the sheep.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hare.
Hare who?
Hare I am!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Parrot.
Parrot who?
You tell me—you keep repeating everything.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Beaver.
Beaver who?
The carpenter—my license says “dam specialist.”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Seal.
Seal who?
Seal the snack bag before it spills.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Duck.
Duck who?
Duck! That pillow is flying back.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Cluck twice if you forgot why you crossed the road.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bee.
Bee who?
Bzzzt—wrong answer. I’m a wasp.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Frog.
Frog who?
Ribbit. Sorry—I thought this was a pond.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Llama.
Llama who?
A llama—not your mama.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bear.
Bear who?
Barely heard you—use your indoor growl.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ant.
Ant who?
Ant you glad I stopped by?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Finally—someone who speaks owl.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Horse.
Horse who?
I’m a little hoarse—did you hear the neigh?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sheep.
Sheep who?
Baaa? Sorry, I don’t speak “who.”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dog.
Dog who?
Your dog—he locked himself out again.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kitten.
Kitten who?
No kitten—I chased the red dot all the way here.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Elephant.
Elephant who?
Wrong number—that trumpet call was for the zoo.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Turtle.
Turtle who?
Shell I say it more slowly?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Flamingo.
Flamingo who?
The flamingo from the zoo—your lawn ornament is an impostor.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kangaroo.
Kangaroo who?
Don’t jump to conclusions—ask again.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Chameleon.
Chameleon who?
Look at the wallpaper and ask again.

Names That Make Great Punchlines

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Claire.
Claire who?
Clear the hallway—the band is coming through.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Just in case, I brought an umbrella.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Look through the peephole.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Paula.
Paula who?
Paula Bear—she left her scarf at the North Pole.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Will.
Will who?
Will you answer the door?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Otto.
Otto who?
Ought to know me by now.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Been here before? You still owe me a punchline.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cole.
Cole who?
Cole Slaw—the picnic guest.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Phil.
Phil who?
Phil the pitcher with lemonade.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Paige.
Paige who?
Paige Turner—the librarian.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Neil.
Neil who?
Neil down and check under the mat.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Can this door open any slower?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gus.
Gus who?
Guess whose turn it is to tell the next joke.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Hurry—the movie is starting.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Manny.
Manny who?
Many more knocks before you answer?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ray.
Ray who?
Ray Gunn—the space ranger.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Stan.
Stan who?
Stan aside—the groceries are heavy.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Eileen.
Eileen who?
I lean left—your porch is tilted.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Carrie.
Carrie who?
Carrie these boxes inside.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mark.
Mark who?
Mark the spot where I left my keys.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Do we have to keep knocking?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Miles.
Miles who?
Miles away, but I still arrived first.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hugh.
Hugh who?
You tell me—I forgot my name.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mikey.
Mikey who?
My key is missing—that’s why I knocked.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Al.
Al who?
I’ll wait while you find the key.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robbing? No—I’m returning your wallet.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gene.
Gene who?
Gene Pool—the swim coach.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Don.
Don who?
Don’t ask me—you invited him.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Terry.
Terry who?
Terry Cloth—he’s drying the dishes.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Drew.
Drew who?
Drew a map so I could find your house.

School and Classroom Jokes

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pencil.
Pencil who?
Pencil me in for study time.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Eraser.
Eraser who?
Raise your hand if you know the answer.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ruler.
Ruler who?
Rule number one: no knocking during a test.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The answer key.
The answer key who?
Wrong—“who” wasn’t one of the choices.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Science.
Science who?
Since you asked, the experiment worked.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
History.
History who?
Yesterday’s punchline—history repeats itself.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Music.
Music who?
Music to my ears when the bell rings.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Homeroom.
Homeroom who?
Home room? No, this is school.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Principal.
Principal who?
The principal reason I knocked is that the bell failed.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Book.
Book who?
Book it—the librarian heard us.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Excuse.
Excuse who?
Excuse me, my homework forgot to print itself.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Quiz.
Quiz who?
Quiz me after I study.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Test.
Test who?
Testing, testing—your answer came through loud and clear.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
B.
B who?
Be quiet—the spelling test started.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Chalk.
Chalk who?
Chalk it up to a broken bell.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Marker.
Marker who?
Mark her present—she just arrived.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hall pass.
Hall pass who?
Hall pass? You’re the one standing in the hallway.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Substitute.
Substitute who?
Your regular punchline called in sick.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Computer.
Computer who?
Have you tried turning your question off and on?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Spelling.
Spelling who?
Bee—B-E-E. Your turn.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Grade.
Grade who?
Great answer—almost an A.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Book title.
Book title who?
“Who’s There?”—it’s checked out again.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Calculator.
Calculator who?
The answer is “who divided by zero.”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lunch bell.
Lunch bell who?
Ding-dong—my sandwich is calling.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Reading.
Reading who?
Reading between the lines, you should open up.

Birthday and Holiday Jokes

Birthday Jokes

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Want a piece of birthday cake?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Trick candle.
Trick candle who?
The one shouting “encore” after every blow.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Party.
Party who?
Party of one? Not after I brought cake.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Present.
Present who?
Present and accounted for—where’s the cake?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wish.
Wish who?
Wish you hadn’t used trick candles?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Guest list.
Guest list who?
Guess who’s missing—you, until you answer.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Icing.
Icing who?
I sing “Happy Birthday”—badly.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Balloon.
Balloon who?
Blue one? I ordered a red one.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gift.
Gift who?
Give the box a shake and guess.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Age.
Age who?
H—the letter after G.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Candles.
Candles who?
Count them again—one escaped from last year.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cupcake.
Cupcake who?
The cupcake wearing a muffin disguise.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ribbon.
Ribbon who?
The ribbon tied itself in a knot—and blamed the bow.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Solo.
Solo who?
So low nobody heard you sing.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Layer.
Layer who?
Later—first we cut the cake.

Holiday and Seasonal Jokes

Christmas and winter

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A Christmas tree.
A Christmas tree who?
The one returning your ornaments—they’re too heavy.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yule.
Yule who?
Yule never guess what’s under the tree.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Santa.
Santa who?
Santa Claus—did the reindeer forget my last name again?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Elf.
Elf who?
Elf me carry these presents.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Frosty.
Frosty who?
Frosty reception—did I come to the wrong snowbank?

Thanksgiving and fall

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Turkey.
Turkey who?
The one hiding until Friday.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Leftovers.
Leftovers who?
Left over from Thursday—and still knocking.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pumpkin.
Pumpkin who?
The pie called—it wants its face back.

Spring holidays

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lucky.
Lucky who?
Lucky you—the leprechaun brought exact change.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bunny.
Bunny who?
Bunny hop? I asked you to knock, not dance.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tulip.
Tulip who?
Two lips, but only one gets the last chocolate.

Halloween

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Witch.
Witch who?
Witch costume should I wear?

New Year and summer celebrations

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
New Year.
New Year who?
New year, same old doorbell.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
July.
July who?
You lie—the fireworks started without me.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
June.
June who?
Do you know when summer vacation starts?

Delivery and Performance Guide

Joke Style	How to Deliver It	Best Setting
Standard five-line joke	Pause briefly after each scripted reply	One-on-one or small groups
Interruption gag	Cut in before the listener finishes “who?”	Parties and classrooms
Voice joke	Commit to one clear voice, then stop	Family gatherings
Repetition joke	Keep the pace steady so the pattern lands	Kids’ groups
Silent or physical joke	Make the action large enough to read	In-person performances

Interactive Performance Jokes

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh—
MOO!
Interrupt before the question is finished.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pirate.
Pirate who?
Arrr you going to make me ask twice?
Use your best pirate voice.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A sloth.
A sloth who?
I’ll tell you tomorrow.
Pause several seconds before the punchline.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Copycat.
Copycat who?
Copycat who? Copycat who?
Repeat the listener’s question.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Whisper.
Whisper who?
Come closer—I can’t say it loudly.
Deliver the punchline in a whisper.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Rimshot.
Rimshot who?
Ba-dum-tss!
Tap the familiar rimshot rhythm.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Robot.
Robot who?
BEEP. IDENTITY QUESTION DOES NOT COMPUTE.
Use a mechanical voice and stiff movements.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Control freak.
Now you say, “Control freak who?”
Do not wait for the listener’s response.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Stage manager.
Stage manager who?
Your line is “Stage manager who?” From the top!
Clap once like a rehearsal cue.
You start this one.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I don’t know—you started it!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A very short visitor.
A very short visitor who?
Short? I’m standing in a pothole!
Crouch, then stand up for the punchline.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A shadow.
A shadow who?
Yours—why did you leave me outside?
Move behind the listener before the punchline.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peekaboo.
Peekaboo who?
Peekaboo—I found you!
Cover your eyes, reveal them, and point to the listener.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Quiet mouse.
Quiet mouse who?
Squeak.
Make the smallest squeak you can.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Loudspeaker.
Loudspeaker who?
I SAID, MAY I COME IN?
Deliver the punchline loudly.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A mime.
A mime who?
Silently pull open an invisible door and step through.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Freeze.
Freeze who?
Freeze right there while I find my key.
Hold completely still.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Slowpoke.
Slowpoke who?
Sloooowly oooopen the doooor.
Stretch every word.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fast delivery.
Fast delivery who?
Packagehere-signthere-thankyou-bye!
Say the punchline in one breath.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The photographer.
The photographer who?
Hold that smile!
Pretend to take a picture.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The conductor.
The conductor who?
Everyone shout “Train!” Great—we’re on track!
Cue the group to shout “Train!”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A sleepy bear.
A sleepy bear who?
Can I hibernate on your couch?
Yawn through the punchline.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sneezy.
Sneezy who?
Ah-ah-ah—never mind, it passed.
Build up to a sneeze that never arrives.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Remote control.
Remote control who?
Click—pause! Nobody move.
Point an imaginary remote and freeze the group.
Will you remember me in a minute?
Yes.
Will you remember me in an hour?
Yes.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
You forgot me already!